Ya Allah, seriously I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like dying for something. But I don't know what it is. And I don't wish to die, because I don't want to. I believe in myself that I could fight with this unwanted feeling. Anyway, I just had to stop loving guys. I mean, fall in love is easy but to forget is really hard. Believe me, I've been through all this shits. Allah creates His creatures with feelings & loving each other. I know its lovely but its painful though. I'm speechless. I don't want to break my fragile feeling anymore. I had enough. After all I've been through, I just made a decision, I don't want to fall in love. But maybe someday. Someday I'll find someone who definitely I'll marry him. A guy who can be my shoulder to cry. A guy who never fails to make me smile and laugh. A guy who I can be myself with. A guy who accepts me just the way I am. And maybe it's not the time for me to think about all this. I'd still have to sit for a major exam then college level. Yeah I'm a person who can't stick in one decision. So I really really hope, I could stay with this decision :-)