Friday, February 17, 2012

Hey ching chong wing wong, shake your king kong ding dong~

I am finally back to rock and roll my blog, you mofo. So how's life? Is everything alright, I'm pretty sure you're fine. 

Anyway, 2012 has been great, so far so good. Hmph I'm super glad I've got into 4 Cengal with my girlfriends and boyfriends, yayza! Sitting beside this pretty little thing, Aziza. One thing I wanna tell you, being form 4's sucks. I tell you. We learn something ridiculous and I can't take it at all. Everyday I learn ugly numbers which is we called it as add math. And two middle fingers for Physics. Insyaallah I will try my best in first term. But oh-well, I need to buckle up a lot, and catch-up with a few subjects since I didn't get a thing what I've learned in class. I'm serious, I wasn't paying my attention in class heheh we got bad ass here.

Got a post as assistant camp commander for girl guides' 2012. And another post as commander for marching team for sports day. I love Girl Guides for giving me these opportunities and put a trust on me. Insyaallah I won't let you down, seniors.

Planning to celebrate my double bitter sweet sour 16 with my absolutely beautiful little thug, Ainaa! Don't know where and what time, because we still need to discuss. Anyway, I can't wait any longer because my last time I celebrate my birthday when I was 12, huish long time ago y'know y'know.

I think that's all for now, nothing much I can say.

Arigato gozaimasu.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ya Allah, seriously I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like dying for something. But I don't know what it is. And I don't wish to die, because I don't want to. I believe in myself that I could fight with this unwanted feeling. Anyway, I just had to stop loving guys. I mean, fall in love is easy but to forget is really hard. Believe me, I've been through all this shits. Allah creates His creatures with feelings & loving each other. I know its lovely but its painful though. I'm speechless. I don't want to break my fragile feeling anymore. I had enough. After all I've been through, I just made a decision, I don't want to fall in love. But maybe someday. Someday I'll find someone who definitely I'll marry him. A guy who can be my shoulder to cry. A guy who never fails to make me smile and laugh. A guy who I can be myself with. A guy who accepts me just the way I am. And maybe it's not the time for me to think about all this. I'd still have to sit for a major exam then college level. Yeah I'm a person who can't stick in one decision. So I really really hope, I could stay with this decision :-)
SELAMA is a definition of forever and ever and eva. So, my friends and I created this name based on our first letter in our names. S for Syahana. E for Elysa. L for Lutfi. A for Anis. M for Mustaqim. A for Arman. 

A picture of us.

Lifeless people always do cool things.

We are vroom vroom siblings in da house

I love this auntie elysa. & I can't wait any longer to see her in this dec. yay!

Come x-ray us

Those monkeys never fail to put a smile on my face.

This monkey loves herself, banana.

My girlfriendsss.

Yes definitely I love these retards to bits. They always crack me non-stop. One thing, promise me guys not to leave me rot in du alone. Pinky promise? 

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Found this on tumblr. I wish I could have them. I wish..

I feel so unwanted. Idk why i feel like this. And i missed old times when we used to talk everyday via sms non-stop. We used to make stupid jokes together. We used to smile when we bumped into each other. But all of them are gone. I want to fix it but it ain't easy. Our egos are big. No matter how hard I am trying to forget you and our memories, I can't. I am not strong enough to fight with this feeling. I might looking happy from the outside but not from the inside. I don't want to waste my time on you. Because at last, i get nothing. 

Fall in love is easy, forget it is hard.
Salam Maal Hijrah to all muslims out there. May Allah bless us. Semoga Allah menerima segala amalanku pada tahun 1432H & mengurniakan rezeki yang melimpah kepada ibu bapaku, diriku dan kaum seagamaku pada tahun 1433H ini. Amin
Hi my super duper lovely dovey readers. I miss blogging. Ok, so what to write what to write?!?!! I’m super bored. Holidays is such a bore. Holiday - gain fats. Don’t you think like that. I do. Let me tell you how to gain more fat. Sleep eat online sleep eat online. Go hang out? No money to go out. No transport also. Great life. And I’d applied for a job at Baskin Robbins with my mum and sissy. After that, my dad found out & he said no no. Wonderful life.  Look at me, I am such a happy kid. Yayy! (How sarcastic am I?)

Yes I admit. These past few days I felt very sad and down for something I don’t know. I don’t think nobody gives a damn about me. So I guess, no one understands me at all. You may not see it from the outside. But how about the fragile inside? Only Allah knows what the best for His creatures like me. And no, I don’t say that my friends doesn’t try their best to help me. They do help me, a lot. But my unclear problems doesn’t let you people to help me. But no worries, I don’t want to put a blame on anyone. This is my life. I suppose to solve it by myself. 

I read Farina’s blog. She might not be moving next year. So, it’s a good new, people. Party at my house naww!! No I kidding. I’m glad to hear that, sassy. I don’t want you to leave me in du alone. Who the hell is going to sit beside me during agama class? Toby? Please no. Whatever it is, don’t leave du because I love you like a love song, farina.

I love surprises. I love presents. I love hugs. I love my friends. I love wishes. I love my family. I love foods. I love spending time with the loved ones. I wish all these on my birthday date next year. I swear, I can’t contain myself with the excitement. I can’t even ask more. This is so perfect to me if it comes true. 

I have no idea why so sudden I dreamt about him these past few days. I really want to forget about him but well I don’t think it’s the perfect timing yet. I wish I could erase our bittersweet memories. But I am not ready. I just can not. And I don’t want to waste my time on you anymore. I am still looking for someone who worth my time. Oh Allah, please give me your strength and guides.

'I don't want to waste my precious time on you'

PMR PMR PMR PMR results. No no no no I am not ready to take my results yet. I’m scared. What if I didn’t get straight A’s? I want to make my parents proud of myself. But what if I’m letting them down? I will regret about this in my whole life.

Friday, November 4, 2011

I miss school. I miss studying in class. I miss homework. I miss teachers who always scold us whenever we haven't done their works. I miss my hectic days before PMR. I miss having fun with my classmates. I miss spending my time with books. I miss PMR.  I miss everything. Time flies so bloody fast.

Whatsup nigga, how are ya doin’?! K I don’t like writing like this. Geram.
Okay if you realize all my posts are about my crushes, friends and studies. Nothing else. This is because I write based what were am I thinking of. I’m truly sorry if you hate my blog, so just leave this page. Easy as shit, isn’t it.
My friends are my soul. Without them, I feel pretty empty. The reason why I always come to school is because of my friends. I love meeting them in every single day. Even though we always pick a fight or snap each other but at last we’ll try our best to fix our relationship. A true friend is always back-up you for no matter what. A real friend is always keep their promises. I’m here telling you, I feel very lucky to have my friends by my side. Loving them till heaven :-) 
My crushes? Ah ignore it. I don’t like to have this feeling either. You know the feeling loving guys, is pretty hard. So many ‘what if’. Okay what if they just want to play with your heart. What if he wants to prove it to people that he could get you. What if he cheated on you. What if he wants to be with you just for granted. What if one day he left you just for another girl. Oh the pain. And no wonder la I’ve never had a boyfriend until now. I’m too scared to get hurt. I’m too scared to take a risk. I’m too scared to go along with all these. WHY?! Because I’ve no guts to do so. I don’t care whatsoever people want to say about me as well. Because I’m still waiting for miracle to happen. I don’t want to be so rushy about this. Bukan nak naik pelamin lagi pun. You know having boyfriends in secondary stage is just for the beginning. The beginning how to feel the pain, broken-hearted and whatnot. That’s what my mum says. Feel the pain now, before you’re getting married. Okay too much love scene here. Not good for teenagers like us.
I’m so sleepy head right now. Sorry if I rarely update my blog, lagipun I update my blog when I feel super free, like nothing to do at all. It’s kind of lame la my blog. So boo-ish. Go read farina’s blog, so nice. And she always updates her blog all the time. Trust me, gaiz C:

Hugs and kisses from me. X
Good night and Assalamualaikum
Why is it so hard to forget our first love? I thought I could erase him in my mind. I thought he’s dead. Dead in my soul. Dead in my brain. I hate to say this. But well, I don’t think I can do it. I meant, forget him. Susah. I’m not a person who easily love guys in a serious way. I like so many guys before. Like and love have a very different meaning.  One more thing, I’m totally scared to tell about this to my friends, but I loved to express everything in my blog. No-one reads my blog either. I like $&#!. But, I love someone else. 2 person at the same time. Okay, seriously how to tell you? I’d still have a feeling towards my old crush, but out of blue, my feeling is trying to play around. I hate this second guy sometimes, literally not really hate la but at the same time I can feel I care for him and I love...him. I have no ideas. It’s hard for me to describe this feeling. Susah. Only Allah knows.
Sometimes, I had a feeling he hates me. Sometimes, I had a feeling he likes me. And sometimes I had a feeling he just want to play around. My fragile heart couldn’t describe this freaking feelings well. I’m just 15, I have no balls to make a decision by myself. I will ask opinions from my friends before I make these decisions. They are helpful much, I suppose. That’s one of my reasons I loved them, especially the people I trust the most; Aziza, Farah, Farina and Syahana. Because they are always be there for me. Aziza, a person I could tell almost all my secrets. Farah, she will try her best to give opinions to solve my problems. Farina, never fails to put a smile on my face and try to cheer me up. Syahana, she loves to solve my problems. She also loves to prove it to me something I don’t know. Alhamdullilah, I’ve blessed with these people in my life. I really really really want my relationship between my friends and I are stay forever till death. So, the guy I meant is the person I liked. He has almost all the characteristics I’ve wanted. Pious, nice, good-looking, taller than me, smarter than me, loyal, be honest and can be my punching bag (err no, we haven’t talked that much yet, so no way for me to punch him) . That’s all, I guess. But sometimes, I had a feeling he just wants to prove to people he could gets all girls in this world. I don’t know why the fuck am I thinking like this :s Okay, whatever I say right now is actually fucked up. Berjiwang jap ^^  K. Bye. 

Friday, October 28, 2011

Nik Farah. I've known her since I was 6. She's the greatest creature in this universe, I'm so lucky to have her in my life. 10 years and still counting 

Aziza Azizi. This girl, I trust her. A LOT. I tell you, she is a person who can keeps your secrets. So, basically I share almost all my secrets to her. From big to a very tiny secret :-)

Syahana is a definition of crazy, lulz I kidding. Ok she's a gangster like a thug, like me.  That's why i love her!!

Farina. Oh this girl is my favorite rempit girl ever! Plus she understands me, and I feel comfortable to do dirty things with her :b She's one in a million & love her to bits. One thing, pls don't move to freaking Shah Alam :'{

Elysa. I hate this pic because I look horrible in it but this is my last pic with her before she went to Canada. She is like a mummy to me, she supports me in every things. Haha I can't wait to see her in December, yeayy ! 

Last but not least, Izza Athirah and Ummi Sofia. They're my very favorite girls in perfection. Oh Allah, I'm very thankful for blessing them in my life. I love them to pieces ! x

Friday, October 21, 2011

Hello my lovely readers,

This week has been great, I guess. Excluding the part which I found out one of my friends was talking bad about me. Uh I’m tired with all this shits. Shits happen in my life. Every second Allah is testing me with a really hard obstacle life. My best- girl shows me her conversation with this girl, and this girl was saying she hates my attitude these days.  And, she says I anti-asrama students. Excuse me, I don’t hate ALL of them. Just some of them who always treat me like a fucking bitch. I’m okay with them if they are okay with me. I mean, c’mon my attitude based on how you treat me. If you being nice to me, I will be nice to you. But if you do hate me, I will do the same thing. Please, I have a fucking life to live. I don’t easily hate people or jeling like you say. And, I don’t ditched Amirah on Puan Hajah Norsham’s retirement day just because I wanted to hang out with Anis Nabilah. Amirah doesn’t want to hang out with Nabilah because she was shy. Plus it was my opportunity to fix my relationship with Anis Nabilah. I meet her a few times this year. So please, I begging you just shut the fuck up if you don’t even know a single thing about this. I thought you are one of my best friends. I don’t say it’s wrong but well, you broke my trustworthy towards you. You backup my enemy than me. You scold me when I tell you the right things. You say things about me which is unreal. You’re talking about me behind my back. I felt very sad when you made a video about me just because you wanted to help this desperate guy. Not once, but twice. What is this?! Is this what we called friends. I tried my best to be a good friend to you, but this is what you do to me. I’m not going to say a word to you from now onwards. It hurts.  I’d rather keep quiet, let them out on my blog. I just want to know; why you hate me that fucking much?


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Hello readers,

How’s  life? It has been awhile since my last post right. Ok, I was so super busy with my PMR preparation. Alhamdullilah PMR is over and I’m satisfied with my papers excluding agama and history. I feel like turn back the time so I could do it once again, I want to fix whatever I’ve done towards my papers. Oh god. I want miracles, please. So welcome to my sad life story.

I feel so empty, lifeless, loving someone who will not love me back, unwanted, useless and etc. Fuck yes, I am falling in love with some new guy. Mhm, I realised I’m such a jerk to someone. But what can I do? This is what we called love, love is blind, selfish and pain. He’s being nice to me these days. So I could not  get him “chow” from my mind. Anyway, this guy loves other girl. I guess. But she looks so much prettier than I am. More gorgeous, pretty, fashionable, matured, and she’s famous fo’ sho’. Jealous. Dugaan selalu berada di sekeliling pinggangku. You know, the feeling whenever your crush getting closer to you is like heaven. Ahhhh. I wish I could talk to you every single day.  I wish.

On last Monday, I had a barbeque party at Ekhmal’s. It was absolutely awesome because I managed to see my buddies. And heck yes, they are super awesome. I’m so lucky to have them in my whole entire life :)  No regrets just love. Ok, I want to tell you some story mory.  It is about Aziza, my girlfriend and my new buddy from TTDI, Ikram. Oh fck yes they look triple sweet! They aren’t together but they could make a good match. Whenever you read this Aziza / Ikram, I would like to say a few words : Oh stop denying it like you have no feelings towards him or her. Allah knows if you lie to me. *pedo face*

Enough about their love scene. Now back to my life, I was stressed out about my life a few days ago. I am uber lucky to have my bro in my life. So, I shared about my sad life story to my bro, Lutfi. I was chatting with him on facebook chat and I was letting everything out, as usual he cheered me up. And he gave me this song “Disaat Ku Mencintaimu” by Dadali Band. This song currently my second favourite song.  Yes, I love him as a best friend, brother and rempit partner.  I loved share all my secrets to him. I feel comfortable whenever I talk to him. Yes, I admit I can not accept the fact that he is leaving us next year. No more annoying jokes from him, this is so sad. Don’t leave us, please.  So people, stop creating unreal story between him and me. Nothing is going on between us except best friends.

I hate the feelings when ;
     - Your own friends who  backstab behind you.
Yes, this is what I feel right now. I feel like a few of my friends hate, dislike or whatsoever related to hatred me. I can see a friend of mine is trying to backstab behind me. I could see what are you trying to do, woman. I’m watching you out right now. Beware. ( isn’t it sound creepy ) lulz.
-Your crush loves someone else.
Oh god, I hate this feeling to the maximum. It feels like a glass broke into pieces. I don’t know how to describe this feeling but it hurts. I wish I wasn’t a human, because I don’t  want to feel  these feelings. Screw it.
-I have no super powers.
Hah don’t you feel great when you have a super power; like you can read people’s mind or being invisible or even pause the time. *laughs.

Ok, I feel bored staying at home and do nothing. Can you imagine, when you were planning what to do after PMR, you wish you could follow the schedule you made, but it is just an epic fail. I want to go sleep over with my girlfriends or hang out with buddies. Plus, my mum does not let us, go online during weekdays. You, tell me what to do other than watching this big box.  Haihh, I hope you can imagine how sad is my life?

Finally, I will miss spending my time in perfection with my girls and boys. Especially lepak-time after history class. I absolutely will miss Ummi Sofia, Izza Athirah and others. Time flies bloody hell fast, I wish I could turn back time. Oh we still can contact each other through twitter and facebook. We can go hang out or something. We must meet each other soon. Drop me a line, please and thank you.

I will miss 3 Cempaka and Puan Shanti. I am super lucky got into this class. Hell yes, I will miss my super class teacher. I’d still remembered our last convo, it was during the arrangement for exams hall.  We were supposed to cover all the boards with mah-jong papers.  The convo begins;

Me : I feel so angelic.
Teacher: Why?
Me: Look at this class, so 'clean'
Teacher: *laughs* that is so cute.

-End of convo-

Ok, this is too much Anis. You’d better go tweet now.  
Good bye readers. Forever love you for reading my dying blog. 
P/s ; Ok, I have two piercings on my right ear. Whopededododo finally!  K.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Hello! I haven't updated my blog for quite some time. I iz such a busy lady boss, spending her time with her BFFL (books). Yep i know my life is just too awesome. Gotta share a bit about my life. I bet you all have heard, Elysa is no more here (Malaysia). It makes my life turns really bad. And yes, there were a few dramas and fighting between SELAMA, which is i don't like it. Yes i admit, I know you're trying your very best and so I do, but my heart just couldn't help with it. I hate this feeling, broke someone's heart especially my friends. I guess, all my friends knew who the fuck is in my heart, right. And fuck it ok. I just want this to get over. O-V-E-R! Yeah, no one cares about my feelings. Seriously, I'm in my room..reading my sejarah book and thinking about all this shits. See, i tak boleh focus langsung. All i want is happiness. Not like this.....people, please understand my situation.


Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few
weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got
beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I
will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me
your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we
have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to
be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t
wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was
perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I
will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about
me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that
you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did
something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad
for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It
doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I
do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I
don’t like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your
hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love
you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t
know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want
us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or
touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I
still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug
me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do
that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going
somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t
know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think
something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It
feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They
told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you
get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something
wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why
don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want
to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say
you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and
see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I
want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

heyyy bbz. i'm bored and i had nothing to do. Oh well, i've finished my cuti terancang. I'm such a good girl. may God bless me :) i couldn't imagine what would happen to me and hana when school reopens. No more elysa razif. I bet you guys know that; she says hello to canada and goodbye to malaysia. She's leaving us :( Elysa. more teman me during kh. no more share secrets. no more stories bout him. no more everything. everything that we used to do together. I read your letter almost 6 times. It really touches my heart. Anyway's i wish you luck in canada. i love you to bits, love.x

oh my Allah, tomorrow! sunway lagoon with aziza, dang, afiqah, amirah, lutfi and naeem :) kbye.x

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Hello, my purpose here is to write the story of my good friend, Farina Binti Khalid ♥ ;

So where should i start? Farina Binti Khalid is a pretty girl. Not only that, she's gorgeous, very nice, awesome, caring, adorable, sweet, sexy, genius and she knows how to treat her friends. That's why i love her. No lies, just love :)

Dear Farina, 
I know you have a load of problems these days. But, you still have to go through all these problems with patience and confidence. Farina, you must always remember that your friends are always be there for you no matter what. 

And i believe that, your mum always do her best for her daughter. This means that she loves you. And please farina, stop thinking that nobody cares about you because we love you. We really do. If there's any problem, please share with us tau. 


Monday, May 2, 2011

hi pretty peoplez. Oh well, i feel like sharing my life story on 1st May 2011.
It was pretty awesome. Even more awesome than awesome <3
1st May 2010;
I went to PD. The next day, I woke up sho early. Then, took breakfastttttttt! Changed to swimming suit. Then, i wanna try this boat, i don't know what to call em. But, it looks like banana boat but its more awesome. Once the boat moving, i was like

Then, check out around 11:30 am. Got back home around 2:30. My mum decided to buy present for my friends. So we went to kl to buy present. Around 8:30 pm, my family and I went to Subang Parade for Farah's birthday party at Friday's :) It was totally awesomest birthday party ever in whole life.x
I've decided to sleep over at her house. I got back to farah's house around 12 malammmmm. Then, we catched some movies at Sunway, I watched Thor 3D. The movie ends around 2:30 am. I wasn't sleepy, so decided to go online till 5 am. Sleptt, zzzZz.

k bye that's all from me! x