Ya Allah, seriously I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like dying for something. But I don't know what it is. And I don't wish to die, because I don't want to. I believe in myself that I could fight with this unwanted feeling. Anyway, I just had to stop loving guys. I mean, fall in love is easy but to forget is really hard. Believe me, I've been through all this shits. Allah creates His creatures with feelings & loving each other. I know its lovely but its painful though. I'm speechless. I don't want to break my fragile feeling anymore. I had enough. After all I've been through, I just made a decision, I don't want to fall in love. But maybe someday. Someday I'll find someone who definitely I'll marry him. A guy who can be my shoulder to cry. A guy who never fails to make me smile and laugh. A guy who I can be myself with. A guy who accepts me just the way I am. And maybe it's not the time for me to think about all this. I'd still have to sit for a major exam then college level. Yeah I'm a person who can't stick in one decision. So I really really hope, I could stay with this decision :-)

SELAMA is a definition of forever and ever and eva. So, my friends and I created this name based on our first letter in our names. S for Syahana. E for Elysa. L for Lutfi. A for Anis. M for Mustaqim. A for Arman. 



A picture of us.



Lifeless people always do cool things.



We are vroom vroom siblings in da house



I love this auntie elysa. & I can't wait any longer to see her in this dec. yay!



Come x-ray us



Those monkeys never fail to put a smile on my face.



This monkey loves herself, banana.



My girlfriendsss.


Yes definitely I love these retards to bits. They always crack me non-stop. One thing, promise me guys not to leave me rot in du alone. Pinky promise? 

Found this on tumblr. I wish I could have them. I wish..


KILL ME NOW, PLEASE. 

I feel so unwanted. Idk why i feel like this. And i missed old times when we used to talk everyday via sms non-stop. We used to make stupid jokes together. We used to smile when we bumped into each other. But all of them are gone. I want to fix it but it ain't easy. Our egos are big. No matter how hard I am trying to forget you and our memories, I can't. I am not strong enough to fight with this feeling. I might looking happy from the outside but not from the inside. I don't want to waste my time on you. Because at last, i get nothing. 


Fall in love is easy, forget it is hard.

Salam Maal Hijrah to all muslims out there. May Allah bless us. Semoga Allah menerima segala amalanku pada tahun 1432H & mengurniakan rezeki yang melimpah kepada ibu bapaku, diriku dan kaum seagamaku pada tahun 1433H ini. Amin

Hi my super duper lovely dovey readers. I miss blogging. Ok, so what to write what to write?!?!! I’m super bored. Holidays is such a bore. Holiday - gain fats. Don’t you think like that. I do. Let me tell you how to gain more fat. Sleep eat online sleep eat online. Go hang out? No money to go out. No transport also. Great life. And I’d applied for a job at Baskin Robbins with my mum and sissy. After that, my dad found out & he said no no. Wonderful life.  Look at me, I am such a happy kid. Yayy! (How sarcastic am I?)

Yes I admit. These past few days I felt very sad and down for something I don’t know. I don’t think nobody gives a damn about me. So I guess, no one understands me at all. You may not see it from the outside. But how about the fragile inside? Only Allah knows what the best for His creatures like me. And no, I don’t say that my friends doesn’t try their best to help me. They do help me, a lot. But my unclear problems doesn’t let you people to help me. But no worries, I don’t want to put a blame on anyone. This is my life. I suppose to solve it by myself. 

I read Farina’s blog. She might not be moving next year. So, it’s a good new, people. Party at my house naww!! No I kidding. I’m glad to hear that, sassy. I don’t want you to leave me in du alone. Who the hell is going to sit beside me during agama class? Toby? Please no. Whatever it is, don’t leave du because I love you like a love song, farina.

I love surprises. I love presents. I love hugs. I love my friends. I love wishes. I love my family. I love foods. I love spending time with the loved ones. I wish all these on my birthday date next year. I swear, I can’t contain myself with the excitement. I can’t even ask more. This is so perfect to me if it comes true. 

I have no idea why so sudden I dreamt about him these past few days. I really want to forget about him but well I don’t think it’s the perfect timing yet. I wish I could erase our bittersweet memories. But I am not ready. I just can not. And I don’t want to waste my time on you anymore. I am still looking for someone who worth my time. Oh Allah, please give me your strength and guides.

'I don't want to waste my precious time on you'

PMR PMR PMR PMR results. No no no no I am not ready to take my results yet. I’m scared. What if I didn’t get straight A’s? I want to make my parents proud of myself. But what if I’m letting them down? I will regret about this in my whole life.

I miss school. I miss studying in class. I miss homework. I miss teachers who always scold us whenever we haven't done their works. I miss my hectic days before PMR. I miss having fun with my classmates. I miss spending my time with books. I miss PMR.  I miss everything. Time flies so bloody fast.

Whatsup nigga, how are ya doin’?! K I don’t like writing like this. Geram.
Okay if you realize all my posts are about my crushes, friends and studies. Nothing else. This is because I write based what were am I thinking of. I’m truly sorry if you hate my blog, so just leave this page. Easy as shit, isn’t it.
My friends are my soul. Without them, I feel pretty empty. The reason why I always come to school is because of my friends. I love meeting them in every single day. Even though we always pick a fight or snap each other but at last we’ll try our best to fix our relationship. A true friend is always back-up you for no matter what. A real friend is always keep their promises. I’m here telling you, I feel very lucky to have my friends by my side. Loving them till heaven :-) 
My crushes? Ah ignore it. I don’t like to have this feeling either. You know the feeling loving guys, is pretty hard. So many ‘what if’. Okay what if they just want to play with your heart. What if he wants to prove it to people that he could get you. What if he cheated on you. What if he wants to be with you just for granted. What if one day he left you just for another girl. Oh the pain. And no wonder la I’ve never had a boyfriend until now. I’m too scared to get hurt. I’m too scared to take a risk. I’m too scared to go along with all these. WHY?! Because I’ve no guts to do so. I don’t care whatsoever people want to say about me as well. Because I’m still waiting for miracle to happen. I don’t want to be so rushy about this. Bukan nak naik pelamin lagi pun. You know having boyfriends in secondary stage is just for the beginning. The beginning how to feel the pain, broken-hearted and whatnot. That’s what my mum says. Feel the pain now, before you’re getting married. Okay too much love scene here. Not good for teenagers like us.
I’m so sleepy head right now. Sorry if I rarely update my blog, lagipun I update my blog when I feel super free, like nothing to do at all. It’s kind of lame la my blog. So boo-ish. Go read farina’s blog, so nice. And she always updates her blog all the time. Trust me, gaiz C:

Hugs and kisses from me. X
Good night and Assalamualaikum

Why is it so hard to forget our first love? I thought I could erase him in my mind. I thought he’s dead. Dead in my soul. Dead in my brain. I hate to say this. But well, I don’t think I can do it. I meant, forget him. Susah. I’m not a person who easily love guys in a serious way. I like so many guys before. Like and love have a very different meaning.  One more thing, I’m totally scared to tell about this to my friends, but I loved to express everything in my blog. No-one reads my blog either. I like $&#!. But, I love someone else. 2 person at the same time. Okay, seriously how to tell you? I’d still have a feeling towards my old crush, but out of blue, my feeling is trying to play around. I hate this second guy sometimes, literally not really hate la but at the same time I can feel I care for him and I love...him. I have no ideas. It’s hard for me to describe this feeling. Susah. Only Allah knows.

Sometimes, I had a feeling he hates me. Sometimes, I had a feeling he likes me. And sometimes I had a feeling he just want to play around. My fragile heart couldn’t describe this freaking feelings well. I’m just 15, I have no balls to make a decision by myself. I will ask opinions from my friends before I make these decisions. They are helpful much, I suppose. That’s one of my reasons I loved them, especially the people I trust the most; Aziza, Farah, Farina and Syahana. Because they are always be there for me. Aziza, a person I could tell almost all my secrets. Farah, she will try her best to give opinions to solve my problems. Farina, never fails to put a smile on my face and try to cheer me up. Syahana, she loves to solve my problems. She also loves to prove it to me something I don’t know. Alhamdullilah, I’ve blessed with these people in my life. I really really really want my relationship between my friends and I are stay forever till death. So, the guy I meant is the person I liked. He has almost all the characteristics I’ve wanted. Pious, nice, good-looking, taller than me, smarter than me, loyal, be honest and can be my punching bag (err no, we haven’t talked that much yet, so no way for me to punch him) . That’s all, I guess. But sometimes, I had a feeling he just wants to prove to people he could gets all girls in this world. I don’t know why the fuck am I thinking like this :s Okay, whatever I say right now is actually fucked up. Berjiwang jap ^^  K. Bye.